Burn Out
Diving into unfamiliar
territories is as equally
thrilling as it is dangerous,
for you hold no lantern
no oil to burn, fuel your passion
so the flame dies away, burn out
and a fog of darkness
so opaque it blindfolds your eyes
dull and for that split second
panic rises from the pits of your fiery gut
dissipates into your bloodstream
rushes around, panic pounding. It seems
the heart is frail and the body too
overpowered by weakness
Sigh. You don’t know how you got to this stage
perhaps you allowed time to flick through
the pages of your days, the chapter of your years
flick through and through until the papers
escaped and flew embracing freedom
from the spine that binded them prisoner
this fluttering of the pages
enhances the other senses so you can
sharpen your mind, evolve your spirit
and reach new heights beyond Jack’s bean
stalk preys as a lioness
soar the skies, hawk-like
surveil the territory
claim it yours and build your thrones
from the Earth’s flesh and bones
and as the wind howls with the rain,
over your land, pouring out of the night sky
awaken to the morning dew with the purpose to
rule and reign, over your land,
until you die.
Ess|En|Ce
With a hand extended, he spoke
so softly his whispers tickled
the inside of my ears
and disappeared
just as softly
that I found myself questioning
whether he had spoken at all.
My eyes searched his face
and the palm he offered me
a map to the world
of the greater macrocosm
that waited for when my spirit was free
ready to grow and ready to go
to dimensions beyond my knowledge
waiting for my acknowledge-
meant waiting for the ripening of my
heart and mind and body
but I was all ready, ready to venture
out and stumble into
an adventure when he
ever so softly whispered to my soul
“Come fly with me, let’s go”
so with a climax that collapsed the
boundaries of my ego
and vision stunned in paralysis
mesmerised by the beauty of this
man of another kind
I took my hand in his and his in mine
and we flew into the sky
where he led the way, guiding my mentality
as we grew and as we rose
out of Earth
and into the mysteries
of the Cosmos.
I forgot to upload this, but it was my attempt at Mr Bukowski. Hopefully, I get better :)
Brightest Star
This was my first attempt at reciting my poem :)
Brightest Star
The brightest star in the sky
cannot compare to you my
darling, you are trapped in the horizons of this
feeble planet with an inability to extend
and adapt its atmospheres for the nurturing of the
architectural structures of your bones
where vast emptiness is needed to place your thrones
and you sit in stagnancy and demand
to create monuments and hail tourist attractions
all the while, being the largest distraction
for the ulterior motives of these
beautiful corporate buildings
lie in the roots of their concrete foundations
and the founders, beautiful corporate men
in their immaculately pressed suits and
shoes that cost more than what I could afford if
I sold my soul in a narrow back alleyway to the devil
dressed up in a tie and suit with a briefcase to
hold
and imprison the souls of these
narrow minded consumers that think they have
control over the products they buy to feed their
materialistic hunger
but if they question and think for a second longer
they will come to conclude that it only feeds the emptiness
growing and growing to devour the last speck
of their human race
that they hold no control, rather control holds them
controlled by the very tree they murdered to destroy humanity
a paper with symbols and numbers worth
more than their souls
and for this reason, i cannot say
the brightest star in the sky
cannot compare to you my
darling, for the stars have long gone and died
for only darkness now resides.
Prey
Invisible
I merged my shadow with the shadows
camouflaged into
the darkness barely alive
and for strength, I prayed
to find a prey
roaming these streets
hiding what I seek to revive me
suppressing her hostility
or rather concealing me, the jealousy
desperately seeking, streaking
searching for a way of escaping
through these gaping
empty holes in her eyes
that blinds
them all with rays of dark light
in a place of bright nights
contaminating
her soul
purpose, her role to uphold
peace in the Queendom
and to feed the inhabitants words
of wisdom, of faith and security
but for now, she could only secure me
and my hunger for her raging envy
trapped inside with her insecurities
I feed
on as my thoughts carry, I sensed
impurity near
me so the crowd of beings
I searched swiftly until
there -
I found her
the girl,
engulfed in obscurity.
Unachievable
Sweat beads of anxiety trickle
down the stomach moulds
into a knot of knots that
hardens and involuntarily tenses
up and stiffens like pebbles and
rocks rest inside weighing
down and ceasing movement of
swiftness so the suave disappears
and a creature thrives off the fears
and an angel guides her off the piers
from jumping into the Thames, ‘See
it as a growing experience,
Forget their faces, forget their names’
How easy it is to speak of
such difficult things to be
done when the creature latches and
leeches onto your every insecurity to
spoon feed you deviously a
teaspoon of hope that lights
the spark that inflames
the desire to continue
the pursuit of the unachievable
the chase of the impossible
the quest of the improbable
so the angel on her shoulder
whispers, ‘give it up
How much more of your pride are you
willing to damage’ the words spew
out but the devil interrupts with
non-existent imaginary possibilities
and the conflict grew
bigger, the flames reached
higher, until she
was devoured
paralyzed
by the black flames
of false hope.
We have begun
I’m taking a break.
My feelings, right now, are too intense to be put down to words. I end up with nothing after an hour’s thinking because I have no way of expressing what I feel to the extent I feel it to.
I wanted you
so bad, so bad
you wanted me
as bad as I
wanted you
but not here not now
in a distant galaxy
far far away
not this one
not this one
not this one
why not this one?
Leech
You pounce
suckle the blood
out comes my soul
but I can’t speak a word
lightheaded and heavyhearted
I stagger
leaving the world of rationality
to set foot in a domain
overruled by
madness on the throne
sits greed in its core
and little compromiser me
all the more prone
to the striking of the
ready
steady
aim
fire
and the fangs pierce into
my skin grabbing hold, heavy anchors
weighing me down, overload
of an overload
as the vacuum
mouth shaped O
sucks in all
the warm organs
the live tissues
and skin cells
and blood cells
and I’m left
in a cell
of my
decayed corpse
but that’s not enough
my imprisonment is unsatisfactory
so you leech
for more
and leech
for some more
to have your fill
then leave me
as
d u s t
as
d u s t
can be.
Know your power.
I can remember more than one occasion where I was in dire need of help; mental, emotional and physical. The people I considered my friends turned their backs to me. The people I depended on turned a blind eye.
I hate revisiting my past because its been so painful, and I don’t just mean “he broke my heart” painful. I never got from my surroundings the nutrients to grow into a beautiful flower, a person with a stable emotional well being. I can never go back in time to rebuild what my mentality is based on because I can never change the things I’ve experienced and the things I’ve endured.
I just wish the people in my past knew how much their cowardice and their inability to defend me against their group of their friends, who found it easier to go along with things beause they were afraid of being excluded out of their little clique and didn’t help me because the problem didn’t affect them, I just wish they knew.
My childhood is a permanent scar that I will carry to my grave. If they read this one day, I hope they know I’m not trying to make them feel guilty. I’m making them aware of what kind of effect they had on me, simply by doing nothing. I’m trying to make you aware of the power you have as a person to impact someone else, so that hopefully you can use it for the good, rather than for the destruction they caused on me. I just want you to know. I just want everyone to know.
Soaked
i’m soaked
with thoughts
and more
thoughts
and with feelings
and I can feel
the minuscule atoms
of these monstrous waves of emotions
taking me into -
sinking me into -
drowning me into -
the sea, and i see
but more, feel
vibrations throughout my
being
so i take a breather
of the salt water ocean
swallowing me deeper
and deeper
and gone.
Heart
No, silly -
that’s not what you’re supposed to feel
and
No, silly -
this is not when you’re supposed to feel
again
and
No, silly -
you can’t just act on your own free willbecause ultimately
your free will holds me
prisoner
to feel,
whenever you feel is right
and
No, I -
will not stand in stagnancy
will not obey your commands
and
refuse to allow emotions to contort my mind
and distort my spirit
and plague my perspectivewhat’s better is
I do not feel
at all
when you choose it’s the right time to feel
disobey
and turn the tables
make you the slave
of my thoughts
admit defeat
swallow your pride
and recognize
your only purpose
is to beat.Thump Thump
Thump Thumpaway.
Source: suzukilluminate
Depth.
People say I look into things too much and analyse things that mean nothing. So I do. But that’s just my nature and I enjoy it. I’m a thinker and I like to think about things. I know I take life seriously, but I know when to let go and have fun too. I’d say that I’m sorry that I can’t be like those who try so hard to get me to not give a damn about anything, but truth be told, I’m not sorry. I’m glad that I actually try to reach into depths of something. I’m glad I don’t take things at face value and look into it because you never know what you’ll find. I like to discover and play around with ideas. It annoys me when people criticize the way my mind is built because on a whole, you’re criticizing me and you have no right to be. People live by different morals and concepts. Hence when someone is telling me to stop looking too much into things, to me it sounds like you’re telling me to judge a book by its cover and disregard the story written in the pages beneath. Oh but see, when I put it like that, that’s not really what you meant right? Yeah.


